| NEED A BREAK!! |
[Nov. 12th, 2008|03:02 pm] |
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Dear god I need a break. This rust check is a mad house this time of year. Plus computer heroes keeps getting job after job. I did some work for nutrition house today. Its weird going into businesses they rarely care who you are they are just like Oh good come over and fix it! The smell of a health food store made me crave yogurt raisins one of the few things I enjoyed when my mom worked part time at a health food store at one point. Of course they don't tell any.. but some magical herb for Zitowihbah noone has heard of and they got 5 different pills. Go figure. Anyway. The money spends good.. assuming they send it to me. Lol.. I was thinking of suggesting of making rustcheck into a Drop off point for Computer Heroes, so many people want to bring their computer in.. plus it would increase their foot traffic to sell to customers... maybe make a small rent payment for it.. I dont know a lot of people want to drop off their computer for some reason. |
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| Scott woods steps up to plate as Evil Landlord |
[Nov. 10th, 2008|09:24 pm] |
Well, mom has been so tired lately with Rust Check in the fall.. it does wear you out. I stepped up to plate tonight and made a Turkey chili, we had our LATE/Early birthday party for my brother and I on sunday that was fun =). I got some new books to read. Our female student downstairs has started to plaster the place with signs such as this beauty.
so I decided to have a talk with her, I just explained I would have a talk with the guys but she should probably take the signs down, I didn't mention the reason she should take them down is they will end up either hating her or making fun of her constantly. I think she has not had a lot of experience with guys. I also had to mention she should close both panes of glass if she is using her space heater.. since it doesn't make sense to leave the windows open for fresh air and heat the place at the same time. So I guess im an evil land lord now. What can you do right? I am learning about electronics its pretty cool. The next natural evolution to my world of nerdiness I guess. What else about computers can I learn?
I am feeling a lot like my old self. I am even getting secretly resentful of people with relationships again. Some couple came into work and I was just like "yeah yeah shut the fuck up, give me the keys" in my mind.. I am always polite in person. Very nice and polite. Hey I already had my weekly customer! $60 in my pocket suckers! It was awful.. I had to call india I havn't worked with the Bell DSL modems before.. I ended up starting up their wireless because I couldnt get the other router to work with it.. Annoying I know. |
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| Ready to lose a thousand bucks? |
[Nov. 7th, 2008|04:05 pm] |
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I am! I finally have enough money to start my Brokerage account. $1000. I have already started to plan my investments and such. Maybe i will join a few investment message boards? I have found the computer tech ones to be very educational. I am just in the planning stages now... Looking at a few different video game stocks as well as their.. planned releases in the near future. Hard to look past the hype sometimes of course. Yes indeed. Well its only a few weeks of hard work right? |
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| Boy |
[Nov. 6th, 2008|01:18 pm] |
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When did I get so out of shape again? I was doing so well for awhile.. but I guess I didn't get a lot of bike rides this year.. I can barely go up a hill anymore. Hard to get motivated to work out with your feet hurting so much at the end of the day. I am working on setting up my DDR spot in my room (so my stomping doesn't bug the students) I am cool like that I guess. Always so thoughtful of those little ungrateful shits! Aww can you change a lightbulb? YOUR IN COLLEGE AND YOU CANT CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? FUCK YOU! bring your parents over im going to slap them. Then you. Then them again. jesus.. Work is wearing me out. |
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| Another day at dispairia |
[Nov. 5th, 2008|02:33 pm] |
Well a few more dollars in my pocket and a few out. Such is the flow of life I suppose. Computer Heroes is becoming a fairly okay "part time" business. But god these people are so fucking cheap. Had a woman today with a laptop, got herself a virus. Might have lost all her babies photos of the last year or so i would imagine... and she balcks at a 100 bucks, virus removal and data recovery. I put it up a little bit because she sounded like a headache. I mean really now. Aren't those pictures worth over a little more then a 100 buckzoids? Sigh.. some people.. The real cheap people always seem to call in the afternoon. And they always got a ton of questions.. its like hey im burning daylight here asshole!!!!!!
The gradual descent of my friend's relationship continues, quite sad really. Who knew dating a teenager would turn out poorly ? Oh yeah.. everybody. I once gave into the siren song of a "younger woman" she was maybe 19.. i might have been 24 then.. She kept brining her brothers on all her dates, honestly I didn't mind. I got along with the brothers quiet well. But it certainly killed any potential for a "romantic moment" not that it would happen anyway but you know. So little tip.. don't bring siblings on the first couple of dates.
I have reverted to my singlehood quite well, a few nights hugging my big fat dog on the bed (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXjj4FCa9KA) and now I am back to my old self. Lots of video games, cheap as hell it feels alright. I might try to grow a handle bar mustache!! Yes!! like this guy on Restaurant Make over. http://restaurantmakeoverexperts.com/images/Massimo-Capra-2.jpg |
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| Reasons to get a dog |
[Nov. 4th, 2008|09:41 am] |
My dog half/beagle half hound has a hell of a bark. Its about 10x as strong as it should be. Anyway a Jehovah's witness came knocking at my door around 9:30 am (like that is going to help their cause with me) and peppy let out the most amazing bellow. They shoved a flyer through the door and continued. So peppy is definitely my Hero today. Although it is a very loud alarm clock.
I went to Ottawa with my dad to have dinner with my brother. It was fun although im amazed he could drive so much, but he is a professional driver now.. He says after saving 12 hours a day for weeks, months and years a trip to Ottawa is like going to the store.. hard to imagine. He picked me up right after work at Rustcheck. I got to drive an Chevy Blazer 99 yesterday from a garage and back again. I quite enjoyed that vehicle you are nice and high up, the seats are comfortable it reminded me of the Ford Escape I drove this spring helping that guy get out of a snow mobile trail. Now that was a car. If I ever get rich I might get one.. although its not a reliable vehicle.. rusts like its got nothing better to do.. gas guzzler.. But man it sure is a smooth ride.. oh it probably flips over if you do a sharp turn as well. But what a ride! Being reasonable is so much hard work sometimes. Course mom said Balf my Mazda protege is finally paid off so I shouldnt be so soon to give her up.
I posted my first youtube video. Behold the magic of the longevity Berry!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vnMH6_Q97A |
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| Another day at rust heck |
[Nov. 3rd, 2008|03:29 pm] |
Thats right, Rust heck I went there. It just wears you out. They require so much paper work that they never use I don't know how they ever got into this situation. The computer has only added to the overhead of the whole check in/check out process. Its really boring. Im suppose to go to Ottawa tonight to see my brother with my Dad, I assume Nancy is coming. Maybe I will try to have a nap. I like nancy but that lady sure can talk. I have been slowly breaking the news to my various family members and well wishers about my break up. They don't really care of course but I secretly enjoy the moment of awkwardness when its like "OH we got free movie tickets!! Want two for you and Lauren?" "We broke up" "OOhh!! *slowly takes back movie tickets* very funny. Single people like movies too you know. I think once I am done fable 2 I might try to play through all the Donkey kong Countries.. I know I own atleast 2 of them.. I wonder if I will start to dream in CGI? Remember when that was cool? "HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE TOY STORY??" That is awesome time... now its just some fat ass panda learning kungfu.. who cares? not me.
I feel a little awkward about my friend's relationship. I was nice enough to look up on AGEOFCONSENT.com and make sure he didn't break a law. LOL. Then I was like "Next time you fly across the country to have sex with a minor... Look it up on google first you fucking idiot!" or something like that. I mean really... People should atleast do some basic research before they break the law. Is that just me? I don't feel I am a criminal master mine here or anything. I guess thats why the stupid people are usually in jail.. no foresight you know? Just make up with it with ruthelessness...
Anyway I feel weird because when they are fighting (Which is every day) she keeps making this comments to me like "I HATE HIM HES A LIAR!!" and then hes like "she gets mad about everything!!" and im like.. jesus just break up already. Don't spend your whole fucking relationship making each other miserable. I got better relationships in Fable 2 for christ sake!!! The only flaw in that game is it is a lot more fun to be the evil guy with the stealing, murder and more interesting quests and what not.. |
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| Well.. |
[Oct. 31st, 2008|11:48 am] |
Well Lauren and I broke up, I guess I am back to classic Scott now. More time for videogames and working out and what not. I found my old (Massive) weight lifting book with as my dad put it "Extremely high homosexual over tones". Which is true.. but it was written by Arnold Schwarzenegger. so you got to respect that. Is there anything that guy can't do? Except make Last Action Hero good I guess.
This middle aged woman loved my joke ive started at rust check. Discussing the rustcheck treatment I say "Don't worry about the rain and snow, in regards to your car anyway" I think she called it a non sequitor or something; Im not sure what it is.
I looked at some women on plentyoffish, I don't think I will use that website again. I actually felt disgusted looking at the profiles. It made me feel sick, I couldn't stop thinking about what sort of horrible people they were, how they are just a bunch of selfish liars. They were always living with their exboyfriends or turning all their boyfriends gay. Or I remember this one girl I was talking to her once and she started talking about her boyfriend, (Which she didn't have) and how they were going to move into together.. a few days later she changes her msn to like "looking for a room mate" and i was like..
"Hey can I ask you a question?"
"sure"
"did you make your boyfriend up?"
"Yeah why?"
"well i just noticed how you were looking for a roomate when before you said you were moving in him... thats kind of weird"
"Why is that?"
"well because you made up a fake person and talked about moving in with them and mentioned plans with this imaginary person and everything.. but they were made up.."
"Oh"
"so i guess thats why its weird"
"Oh i see"
...
We never talked again.
God what a fucking idiot. Like I give a shit, if your going to make up some elaborate plot to lie about atleast make an effort to keep it up for a FUCKING WEEK. I just have no tolerence for that shit anymore... Like Dale this asshole at work tried to start bullying me the other day. He had already bullied this guy james into quitting pretty much. so I guess it was my turn.
I moved a large rock in the middle of the rd and he yells infront of everybody in a really demeaning voice "SCOTT GO PUT THAT ROCK RIGHT BACK IN PLACE" supposely it blocks the gate in the middle of the road... then when he drops off a report and is like "YOUR WELCOME" in a real snide asshole voice.. keep in mind this is the first thing he has said to me in WEEKS. and I just freak out. I am like "I am not going to take this bullshit!, I am not going to be the next person your bullying." I told him infront of my mom and stepdad "This isn't acceptable, I wont put up with this bullying, so he better not even start." I spent to much time in my life being bullied by idiots anyway. Of course I can't say anything back to him.. he is a psyscho... like once he corrected my spelling and I was going to be like "OH YOU CAN READ?" but I didn't because hes crazy.
His brother who beat a man into the hospital and got arrested is a more reasonable person Frankly. What does that really say? Anyway I have to go vaccum or some shit. jesus. |
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| Another gloomy day |
[Oct. 28th, 2008|01:24 pm] |
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The grey dead sun lazily dragged itself out from under the sky and begrudgely started the day with its light. Everyday was the same, boring and awful. The alarm clock rang waking our hero out of his slumber. |
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| Customers |
[Oct. 17th, 2008|12:14 am] |
I have been starting my own business, Customers are awful things right? All they do is complain and hassle you about everything, They think they own you for life because they gave you money once awhile ago.. Like you still have it right? I ran into a situation today. I fucked up ill admit that but god they call me back to move this thing, like two inches lower and its just like "your all fucking nuts". They said they needed it lower in case they ever had a employee in a wheelchair.. like when is the last time you saw an Old Navy employee in an wheel chair right?
You seen a bunch of people in wheel chair commercials dancing around like assholes in the same clothes on tv a lot from old navy? I didn't think so.. its bullshit. I just ran away from my problem seems to be working so far..
Anyway..
Fixed this guys computer, very nice friendly guy... He seemed very happy and pleased about it.. paid $150 and some change... I got to tell you.. I felt pretty good Like I actually helped somebody.. although I feel a bit guilty taking his money for some reason.. I guess ill get over that.. I mean i took in atleast a thousand for RC in a couple hours.. go figure.. but when the money is coming to me it seems wrong!! |
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| extreme home make over |
[Sep. 28th, 2008|09:59 pm] |
I want to be on extreme home make over for the free house & stuff. So I am going to start a Charity called "Ocean Therapy". It will put retarded children on dolphins. To help them.
And when I hear that kid's scream when I put him on a dolphin and the dolphin starts biting him and slapping him with his flippers that retarded kid will learn a valuable lesson. Don't mess with a dolphin when its in heat. |
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| The cat that could walk through walls, A harsh review |
[Sep. 20th, 2008|09:58 pm] |
ROBERT HEINLEIN YOUR A IDIOT!
This book has officially brought him from one of my favorite authors to right next to that idiot who wrote dead city which was an awful another book.
It starts off pretty shitty, in the same environment of early space habitation as the moon is a deadly mistress or something. Which was a good book. The colonies on the moon have freed themselves from the rule of earth and have an American pioneer like spirit. The story starts on a space station where two snobs are having dinner, then someone gets murdered at his table.. the main character richard seems pretty uninterested in this, and spends the rest of the book running around for no reason being a huge snob, talking about various snob things.. like "Only 50 credits for moving?? I spent more then that on last nights bottle of wine!!"
God that book is awful. His "new" wife turns out to be a stupid whore who sleeps and has slept with everything and actually has an ORGY with a hotel clerk and a paraplegic while he is knocked out unconscious in the hospital well the futuristic space hospital.
Lets see, he also tries to get married to his wife's great grand child.. turns out his wife is this old slut who is vaguely mentioned in the first book who was a rambunctious scamp who helped the lunar rebellion.
God damn awful.. and the worst part.. The cat who walks through walls only shows up at the end when its a unreadable mess of shit. They are in some future world and they are like time police and running around having sex with everyone, and the cat shows up.. and doesn't do shit. Its retarded. Worst $3.50 I ever spent in my life. I am going over to Laurens later and chucking this piece of crap in the FIRE!!!!!! POOF!!!!!!!! im sure a bunch of evil little ghosts will come flying out! |
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| clothes shopping |
[Jun. 24th, 2008|10:05 am] |
I have never gone clothes shopping with a professional before, but it was quite interesting. My uncle Carl had been a buyer for several different department stores for years and he really know his stuff. He took me around to Moore's (clothing for men) and then it began. First I had to try on several kinds of pants, they had this weird pant with a variable waist but I didn't really like it because it felt like your pants were going to fall down all the time, of course your suppose to wear a belt with it but it didn't really seem like that great of an advance of technology. Anyway there was this guy that was really giving it to his younger salesman. He really knew how to get things done. He kept asking the sales person all these questions then being like "you should know this!!" I wonder if he wasn't a plant by the company or something now that I think about it. So I got several pants and a couple shirts, all in all it should look pretty good. He felt I could have just the jackets I have, to save some money since they were good. Anyway now i am a smart dressed good looking professional or such.
Lets see what else has been happening.. Mom has been bugging me to go make her a computer. Ive been debating what to get her nothing to high end I suppose. But she does want some cool features, like a memory card reader which is pretty neat. So I might do that today, Mom has been a very good customer to computer heroes so I should give her a good deal.
I finally got an old laptop to try and fix this should be interesting, they dont really look as complicated as I thought Im not sure what I was scared of really. I really do need a work space though. I wonder if someone wants to come and help me work on my DORKSHOP??? Any takers eh? Well maybe not right?
Lauren and I had a really great time the other day. We went for a swim at her place, it was a little cold but also very refreshing although supposely they have been having some ecoli problems in the area.. (yea we find out after right?) They have a really wonderful place there. Its quite amazing really. No wonder her cats never want to go inside they got to much to do and explore. Lauren is also thinking about getting another kitten.. cat number 3! I think you can have atleast 4 before you become one of those "PEOPLE". |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2008|01:09 am] |
Well my business is going well I had a really busy day today. Wrote some tax letters, did some research, planned some business things, got all my files organized and everything.. activated my internet account to my bank account that was pretty sweet. Now I can finally looko at my hard earned business money longingly. Having to write your own paycheck is a difficult feat... because you have to take money from yourself to write it.. So its like.. Sure I could use a couple hundred bucks who couldn't right? But then... you also have to be the boss... You little ingrate!!! You dont deserve that damn money!!! I got taxes to pay and expenses!! you think businesses are made of money? THink again jerk wad!!! You have to be very ummm... schizophrenic if you will.
Speaking of schizo Peppy is doing alright, she was having a problem with some blood in her urine needless to say I was concerned. Took her to the yet and everything and they just put her on a pill. So now its clearing up. Hard to gauge how much to really spend on this dogs life... because I love peppy.. don't doubt that... she is a real sweet heart.. but lets just say this dog isn't exactly living life to the fullest if you will. So would I spend 5 grand to keep a dog who just sleeps all day alive? Hummm... I don't know.. deep down I am still that sensitive little boy who feels bad about road kill on the road. Frankly I am disgusted every time I hear a murdering of a raccoon or squrriel story... "Oh I give the raccoons swimming lessons har har!" Good one buddy...
I mean im all for meat, it tastes good. But I wouldnt suggest drowning a bunch of cows because they bumped over your trash.. you know what I mean? So don't think I am all confused or anything I am really not.
I was thinking "What do I really want to do in life?" I mean do 80 year olds still think about what they want to do in life? Havn't they given up by then? I mean my business has me real excited I always knew I wanted to run my own business and everything... but I guess I just have such an urge to expand.. to do new things.. man I am a bit of a dreamer. I don't want to get into the trap that Jeff did where he is doing so much stuff he isn't doing or going anywhere. From what I know about him he makes programs, back up solutions, digital signage, does bookkeeping, computer repair, training, on hold messages, films, commericals, radio ads, internet advertising, trying to steal security systems from me!... and god knows what else he has his fingers in... I mean jesus thats a lot of stuff for one business. Oh well what can you do really. New things are just so interesting right? Who can resist that?
anyway thats my new thrilling update. Talk to you later. |
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| Pieces of plastic |
[Jun. 2nd, 2008|11:46 pm] |
Looked at my wallet today, all these little pieces of plastic mean so much don't they? Kind of disturbing really. Stay away from my plastic they might alter my score!!
oh well guess i am feeling all poetic tonight. Nothings much really new. Working on my website I will unveil it soon enough don't you worry. Not like anyone will go to it but its nice to have. "I have a website" they say.. course once I get better at website design I will have to redesign it.. Now thats annoying. |
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| My submission to the wolfe island mystery contest. |
[May. 15th, 2008|10:18 pm] |
Murders Last Call
By Scott Woods
The scene in the call center break room was horrifying to Eric. It was much worse than when they had replaced the complimentary coffee machine with one that wanted $2.25 a cup. "We've got to tighten up our phone cords and cut the slack" management had joked in a business wide e-mail a few weeks ago.
Well, someone had taken the joke a bit too literally. That cord had been tightened alright.
Eric hadn't realized it before, but he had a special aversion to dead men with curly black phone cords tightly wrapped around their necks and blood all over their collars. The body was pretty hard to ignore. It sprawled all across the break room's big cheap fake wood table and the dead eyes were staring at the door with a look of horror. The fingers were still stuck under the cord from a desperate attempt to claw the phone cord away. Except for a couple knocked over chairs, and a smashed coffee cup on the floor, the rest of the break room looked pretty much untouched. The several people who gathered around the door staring at this nightmarish scene stood in silence.
"I guess there's an opening for a supervisor position," Champ whispered in Eric's ear. Eric jumped. He turned around to see a big smile come across Champ's face as he enjoyed his own joke. God, I hate this guy, Eric thought to himself. And not just because he is so damn popular! In fact, hating him for this would have been quite acceptable. Champ was so very damn likable he had never had to do any actual real work. The only thing he had accomplished was getting everybody to call him by his nickname "Champ". This, of course, made him even more notorious. "That's the most inappropriate thing you've ever said, Champ,” Eric said. Champ's smile got even brighter. "Shove it, Tubs!" Wait just a minute, Eric thought. Sure, he'd was a bit heavier than he used to be. Who wasn't? All that sitting around phoning and eating call center reward cake-- but “Tubs?!” Wasn't that going a bit far? Maybe he should complain to his supervisor, Rodney. But then his eyes glanced back at the blooded abused corpse. Somehow he didn't think that was going to work. Not with Rodney, his supervisor--well, now former supervisor, murdered.
Five minutes later.
"As per head office policy"...the monotone voice of the head of security, Bill, droned over the intercom. "All doors are to be locked, nobody is allowed to escape.. err leave the facility until the proper authorities have arrived. Shifts are not to be changed and if your shift is compete, head office welcomes you to continue working at your normal pay rate, assuming approval of your supervisor. Also the birthday party in the staff room will be canceled. Good day."
Marget, the woman next to Eric's cubicle who had not so secretly been in love with Rodney began crying and hyperventilating. "Rodney can't approve anything!!! He's DEAD like my heart!" she wailed to nobody in particular. It was a very awkward moment which seemed to last forever. Eric spent it looking at the wall.
A small boy of about twelve in a tailored business suit with pointy red hair and a extra large order of freckles arrived at Eric's cubicle. "Hello, Eric, I have a special assignment for you." Eric was always getting these special assignments—ever since the C.E.O. had decided that her son should be learning the family business. Unfortunately, that business was managing a multi-million dollar company. Besides he was playing too many games at the baby sitter's and this saved her ten dollars an hour in baby sitting costs. In this economy...). So Eric became temporarily managed by the C.E.O.'s 12 year old son Melvin. Eric felt it was humiliating. Still, he would put up with pretty much anything to be away from the phones and those people on the other end of the phone line.
Melvin glanced at Champ and gave him a nod. "What a good fellow that Champ!" Melvin thought to himself. Then he eyed Marget crying her eyes out and Old Man Johnson slowly drinking a bottle of water. "Get back to work kids. Champ, you are temporary supervisor get to it." Melvin told the group of adults even though the oldest adult was about 45 years older than he was. In fact, some said that Old Man Johnson was working at a call center the day after the phone was invented. Champ nodded to Melvin. Champ didn't, in fact, know what to do as a supervisor but it didn't really matter to him. Melvin motioned Eric to come with him by grabbing his ear and pulling.
Walking down the aisle between the rows of cubicles, Eric held on to his throbbing ear. Melvin explained the special assignment. "I've decided that solving a murder would look better on my resume then community service. I hate doing stuff for free. So we are going to find out who killed Supervisor Rodney but we must be quick. Mom is taking me to McDonald's later tonight." "Why do you need me?" Eric asked worriedly. "Well, since you have been working here for so many years you must really know the place." Eric nodded painfully. The years of mind numbing work had accidentally taught him quite a lot about the place.
They entered Melvin's office. Melvin sat down in his big office chair, his little head just peeking over his expensive monolithic desk. The desk was made out of wood so rare nobody had ever heard of it. Eric pushed a few toys off the demoralizingly small guest stool in front of the big desk. The toys made a little squeak as they hit the ground and Eric sat down.
Melvin took a neon blue piece of construction paper out of his desk "These make really good air planes," he said. Eric nodded in agreement. That had been a special assignment a few weeks ago that he had helped with. "I still say if you just cared more about the aerodynamics of the plane... " Eric started up the old argument. Melvin gave him a cold stare. "Supervisor Rodney is dead Eric. My management decision is for you to shut up about aerodynamics." Eric decided to shut up he wasn't getting paid enough for this. "Anyway.. let's write down what we know about this whole murder business. Who and why would they want to murder Supervisor Rodney?" Melvin wrote down Who and Why and then underlined them.
"So who did it? " Melvin asked Eric, his temporary subordinate. "Well, thanks to modern management techniques, employees only know the person in the next cubicle. I only know about five people in the entire company”, Eric said. "So it was one of Rodney's lackeys? I'm going to assume it's not you as you're weak as a kitten. So who do you think it was, Eric? Who has got an axe to grind?"
Eric thought for a moment. His mind drifted back to the murder scene and Champ's big smile. "Well, I was there when they discovered the body and Champ was the only one who didn't seem disturbed by the murder. In fact, he made a very inappropriate joke about it." "What sort of joke?" Melvin asked, scribbling on his piece of paper. "He said there was an opening for a supervisor position." "Well, that's more of an observation than joke, don't you think, Eric?" "I guess,technically,” said Melvin.
Melvin stopped for a moment then started to write again. "Champ is a great guy, he wouldn't be involved in this mess... But I do have this entire piece of paper to fill up so I'll put him down...” Melvin continued to write. “And you feel he would be doing the murder for some sort of advancement?" "It's possible some people will do a lot for a dollar raise." "Really?" Melvin contorted his face trying to imagine what its like to be poor then gave up on it.
Melvin hit a button on a speaker resting on his desk. "Mrs. Sphereburg can you bring me in an extra large hot chocolate, please? Do you want anything, Eric?" "Well, a coffee would be nice." "And a child sized coffee for Eric. Thanks.”
“Alright, what about someone else on Rodney's team? How about that unattractive crying woman?" Eric knew exactly who Melvin was referring to. Marget was obviously in love with Rodney. She wouldn't have murdered him. Besides she always brings him a variety of baked goods so why do a brutal violent murder, when she could just poison him?" "Humm. Okay. She will be our number one suspect." Eric stared at Melvin with intense loathing but Melvin just continued to look down at his paper and continue writing. Mrs. Sphereburg came in with their out of proportion drinks and they thanked her. "Any other suspects?" Melvin continued.
"Well, there is only Old Man Johnson. He is just a nice old man. I still remember the day when I first started and he took me under his wing. Showed me what this call center business was all about."
Eric stared off into nothing as he started to think back to his first day. Melvin rolled his eyes. "Eric, my boy, “ Old Man Johnson said. “The first thing you have to do is accept your fate. The clients are going to yell, they're going to scream. Grandmothers are going to speak to you like serial killers who are going to go to the chair unless they can make you cry. But you are going to be making that sweet two dollars over minimum wage. Also never drink the coffee, bring water from home. Lead pipes you see." Melvin wrote down Old Man Johnson on the suspect list. Under why, he wrote really old and weird. "Alright, snap out of it, let's go interview some more suspects!" Melvin said, as he threw a paper airplane at Eric's head. The plane hit Eric on the forehead and made him drop his drink.
They arrived at Margret's desk. It was covered in pink girly things. "This is just a friendly conversation, Margret," said Melvin T. Melrose. He turned on the light and aimed the table lamp towards her face, blinding her. "Yes.. Mr. Melrose", Margret said, closing her eyes. "Please call me Melvin", he said with a smile. "Yes, Melvin.." Margret said, relaxing a little bit. "That's Mr. Melrose!!!" Melvin shouted. Margret burst into tears and held her shaking head in her hands. She cried, her voice shaking ”I'll never find a better job that this...!” Eric and Melvin looked at each other uncomfortably. "Alright, Eric it's time for you to take over, I did the hard part." Eric wondered what the hard part really was. He waited for Margret to calm down a little bit. "Hi, Margret, it's me, Eric Smithinhouse, the guy in that cubicle next to you..." Margret nodded. They in fact talked every day and were quite close. Margret was wondering if Eric had gone insane. Wasn't it safer to agree with a crazy person? Just in case they got violent. "We were just wondering what you were doing before the incident today.." Margret looked up and said "Incident?".
Eric and Melvin looked at each other again and realized they were not dealing with a criminal mastermind here. "When Rodney got killed.." Eric continued... Margret burst into tears again. "I was still on a call,'' she sobbed. ''This guy with a heavy southern accent was yelling at me because his computer only lasted five years!! I never even got to give Rodney my blueberry muffins in the break room fridge. I made them just the way he likes them. I went to the break room and then I saw him.. like that.." "Well, all these calls are time stamped so that can be checked out. So looks like you got an alibi.." Eric continued. Melvin looked at the crying shaking woman and said "OK, break is over, get back to work."
After pacifying Melvin with an ice cream, Eric got back to work. On the big list of suspects sat Old Man Johnson's name. When they arrived at his desk, he was sitting relaxed talking to a customer on the phone. He looked stoic and weathered. Coffee stains and sweat covered his sweater from working a long shift. Melvin pressed the 'hang up' button and Old Man Johnson turned around with a look of surprise. “Alright, grandpa, you got some explaining to do,” Melvin said. “Sounds good, little buddy”, Johnson responded in his affable, peaceful manner. Eric slowly wrapped his hand over Melvin's mouth to keep him quiet. Melvin began to squirm. “We are just checking what people were doing before Rodney bought it, Johnston.” “Oh, I was talking to a lovely woman. Had a problem with her computer but we got it fixed. I hadn't even gotten my break yet when I heard about poor Rodney. It's a shame, man, a real shame.” “Yeah, I suppose. So you were on a phone call as well?” “Dude, I'm always on a phone call. Speaking of which,” said Johnson. Old Man Johnson turned his chair around and started to take another call. Melvin finally squirmed out of Eric's grasp and tried to kick Eric's shin. “Well, his story checks out. Just had a call with a nice girl that took a little long. Looks like everyone's alibi is going to be like that since we do nothing but take calls all day.” “That's very convenient”, Melvin stated with a pout. “Let's go talk to Champ, Eric. I'm tired of talking to losers,” Melvin raised his eyebrows at Eric hinting that he was included in that exclusive group.
Melvin and Eric arrived at Champ's cubicle. Somebody, most likely Champ, had stuck a post-it note on the metal name plate. It said 'Champ, Supervisor'. Champ was sitting at his desk. He was wearing a black and white ball cap that said 'CHAMP' on it in big yellow letters. “Champ, we need to look over some of the call records,” Melvin said, straightening up his tie, “and hurry up, I'm going to McDonald's in an hour.” Champ leaned back in his chair. “Well, as the new supervisor, I can now access those call records. Which ones do you want?” Melvin's eyes shone greedily. “Give me Margret's, Old Man Johnson's, yours and Eric's.” Eric looked in shock at Melvin. Melvin shrugged in an adorable manner. Champ printed off the records and then went on his break. “Doesn't someone have to work to get to have a break?” Eric mumbled to himself.
Back in Melvin's office they went over the records. Eric felt a sense of relief. “Looks like Margret was on that terrible call. It lasted for like three hours and Johnson was on his call, too.” “And where were you?” Melvin asked inquisitively. “I told you, I was on my break, Melvin. I didn't do it.” “So you say. Well, who else could have done it?” “Obviously, it was Champ.” “Well, according to the records, he didn't have alibi either since he wasn't on a call. Maybe we should go question your golden boy. Huh, Eric?” Eric nodded. Melvin then stopped and turned to Eric very slowly. “Actually, I think Champ is a cool customer. He wouldn't break from interrogation.” Eric thought for a moment, then said “Leave it to me. I know how to cook his goose!”
Twenty minutes later, Champ received an inner office memo asking him to meet him in the 15th floor storage room to discuss 'what he has done'. Champ stood up and walked silently to the elevator.
Champ entered the dark storage room letting in a sliver of dim yellow light. “Hello?” Champ called nervously. He kept his hand inside his jacket. “I got your Email.” A mysterious figure stood motionless in the darkness. A weird muffled voice said “I know what you have done Champ!”
“How did you find out?” “You slipped up. It's time to confess.” “You bastard!” Champ lunged at the figure, wrestling it to the floor. A letter opener fell from his hand. The figure collapsed into an old coat, hanging on a hat rack, a pile of papers and some old computer monitors. The lights turned on. Eric, Melvin and Bill, the affable old security guard, came out from behind the old metal file cabinets. “You lose the title, Champ!” Eric said, holding up a video camera in triumph.
Eric had spent several weeks thinking of the perfect thing to say when Champ was finally knocked down a peg. “Damn it, how did you all find out my horrible secret?” Champ said backing away in fear. Melvin looked at Eric.”How did you figure it out, Eric?” “Well, it was just deduction. Since nobody knows anyone in this company, I knew it was someone Rodney supervised. Since Marget and Johnson both had alibis and I knew I didn't do it. So clearly it was Champ who committed the crime.” “That's it?” Bill, the chief of security, sounded worried. “Well, Champ just admitted to the murder and tried to stab the dummy!” ”I didn't murder anyone!” Champ began to cry. “Well, what did you want to cover up, Champ?” Bill asked. “I thought I had been caught. It's all over now.” Champ broke into tears. “I confess. I've never done any actual work the entire time I've been with this stupid company. Today is the first time I turned on my computer in five months!” Eric nodded his head slowly. Melvin asked, “So you never did any work ever?” Champ smiled his million dollar smile and wiped away his tears. “That's right. I may be totally useless but I'm not a murderer. Look at these hands!” Champ raised his hands. Bill stared up at them. “I've never worked a day in my life.” Bill exclaimed, “Why, they're as weak and soft as a baby's!” Melvin shook his head. “Well, if Champ didn't kill him then who? Margret was on that terrible call with that southern guy. Johnson was on that call with that nice girl. This is just a wild goose chase and I got McDonald's to eat.”
Eric smiled and said “Gentlemen, I have solved the crime. This time it's for real. Follow me.”.
A few minutes later they were back at the cubicles. Eric stepped out of Supervisor Rodney's cubicle and nodded. Bill, the Chief of Security, who stood in front of the group with his big meaty arms crossed. “This better be good!” he said. Margaret, Johnson, Melvin and Champ stood in front of them. “It's all damn good,” Eric said. His voice was infused with a new-found confidence. “Old Man Johnson did it!” Johnston looked shocked. He yelled “I did no such thing, Eric, what the hell?” “I just listened to your call before the murder, Johnston,” Eric said. “So what does that prove?” asked Melvin.
Eric explained “Look, Melvin. Rodney was a very unremarkable man. But he was a supervisor and he got all the calls recorded to his computer. He was listening in on Johnston's call. The call was the usual futile yelling. But at the end the customer thought they had hung up the phone. They hadn't. This often happens.” All the call center employees nodded. “And as standard policy, you cannot hang up on a customer. They both overheard this rich old woman talking about her money, mumbling her secret bank stuff. Little did she know that a poorly paid cunning call center worker still lurked on the phone.
A quick Internet search, and Johnston realized he could be rich beyond his wildest dreams.”
“That doesn't prove I killed him Eric. I'm not a criminal,” Johnson said.
Eric smiled triumphantly and looked at the group. “Remember that coffee cup smashed on the floor? Johnston, you had coffee stains on your shirt. You don't drink the coffee here, everybody knows that. It must have splashed up--
Johnston yelled, “I killed that bastard I admit it! I left in the middle of a call. I walked by the break room on my way out to rip that woman off. And Rodney was there, a cup of coffee in his hand. The moment I saw him I knew he knew. That damn bastard offered me 10%. I took that phone cord, and ...... I had to escape from this place! It was my chance! But Eric, how did you know?
“You said you had a nice customer, Johnson. Nobody's ever had a nice customer at this call center. Now it's time to make that last call--to the police!” |
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| My Mystery Story entry |
[May. 14th, 2008|02:31 pm] |
The scene in the break room was horrifying to Eric. It was much worse then when they have replaced the complimentary coffee machine with one that wanted $1.25 a cup. "We got to tighten our phone cords" management at joked in a business wide e-mail a few months ago. Well someone had taken the joke a bit to literally. A black curly phone cord was tightly wrapped around Eric's Supervisor Rodney's neck so tight that it had ripped his skin leaving blood all over his collar. His fingers were still stuck under it from their brief attempt to pull the phone cord away. His body was sprawled across the big cheap fake wood table with his dead eyes staring at the door with a look of horror. Else for a couple chairs knocked over the rest of the break room looked pretty much untouched except for a smashed coffee cup on the floor. Several people just stood around the door staring at this nightmarish scene no one having the courage to speak or knowing what to say.
"I guess there is an opening for a supervisor position." Champ whispered in Eric's ear. Eric turned around to see a big smile come across Champ's face at his own joke. God I hate him Eric thought to himself and not just because he is so damn popular! In fact hating him just for being popular would have been quite acceptable. Champ was so very damn popular he had managed to never actually do any real work and the only thing he had accomplished was getting everybody who ever knew him to call him by his nickname "Champ" which of course made him ever more popular. "Thats the most inappropriate thing you could have ever said Champ.” Eric said back Champ. Champ's smile got even brighter "Shove it Eric" Eric was insulted and thought about complaining to his supervisor but then his eyes glanced back at the blooded abused corpse of his former supervisor and thought "Oh right that whole murder thing."
Five minutes later.
"As per head office policy." The monotone voice of the head of security Bill droned on over the intercom normally used for informing employees of free cake and cars with their headlights on. "All doors are to be locked, nobody is allowed to escape.. err leave the facility until the proper authorities have arrived. Shifts are not to be changed and if your shift is compete head office welcomes you to continue working at your normal pay rate, assuming approval of the supervisor Good day."
Sitting in his cubicle even Eric's limited understanding of women knew the last sentence was going to be a problem. Marget the woman next to Eric's cubicle who had not so secretly been in love with Rodney the recently deceased Supervisor began crying and hyper ventilating again. "Rodney can't approve anything!!! hes DEAD like my heart!" she wailed to nobody in particular. It was a very awkward moment which seemed to last forever Eric spent it looking awkwardly at the wall.
Then a small boy of about twelve in a tailored business suit arrived at Eric's Desk . "Hello Eric. I have a special assignment for you." Eric had been getting these special assignments for the last couple of years. It all started when the CEO had decided that her Son should be learning the family business of managing a multi-million dollar company and not playing games at the baby sitters (Also it saved her 10 dollars an hour baby sitting costs and in this economy...). So the last couple years when the son was not busy with another after school activities Eric sometimes became temporarily managed by the CEO's 12 year old son Melvin .
Melvin glanced at Champ and gave him a nod. "What a good fellow that champ" Melvin thought to himself then he eyed Marget crying her eyes out and old man Johnson enjoying a cup of coffee. "Get back to work kids, Champ you are temporary supervisor get to it." Melvin told the group of adults. The oldest being being about 45 years older then him. In fact some say that Old Man Johnston was working at a call center the day after the phone was invented. Champ nodded to Melvin he didn't in fact know what to do as a supervisor but it didn't really matter. Melvin motioned Eric to come with him by grabbing his ear and pulling.
Walking down the aisle between the rows of cubicles Eric held on to his throbbing ear. Melvin meanwhile explained the special assignment. "Ive decided that solving a murder would look better on my resume then community service. I hate doing stuff for free. So we are going to find out who killed Supervisor Rodney but we must be quick Mom is taking me to McDonald's later tonight" "Why do you need me?" Eric asked sadly. "Well you have been working here for so many years in the same position you must really know the place." Eric nodded painfully. The years of mind numbing work had accidentally taught him quite a lot of the place.
They entered Melvin's office, Melvin sat down in his big office chair his little head just peaking over his expensive desk made out of wood so rare nobody had ever heard of it. Eric pushed a few toys off the demoralizingly small guest stool in front of the impressive monolithic desk. The toys made a little squeak as they hit the ground and Eric sat down.
Melvin took a neon blue piece of construction paper out of his desk "These make really good air planes." he said. Eric nodded in agreement that had been a special assignment a few weeks ago he had helped with. "I still say if you just cared more about the aerodynamics of the plane... " Eric started up the old argument. Melvin gave him a cold stare. "Supervisor Rodney is dead Eric. My Management decision is for you to shut up about aerodynamics" Eric decided to shut up he wasn't getting paid enough for this. "Anyway.. lets write down what we know about this whole murder business. Who and why would they want to murder Supervisor Rodney?" Melvin wrote down Who and Why and then underlined them on the blue neon sheet of paper.
"So who would want to kill Supervisor Rodney? " Melvin T Melrose asked Eric, his temporary subordinate. "Well with the modern management techniques the organization uses only the people directly under him and over him actually know that he even exists. I only know about 5 people in the entire organization myself." "So it was one of his lackies? I'm going to assume its not you. You are weak as a kitten. So who was it Eric? Who has got an axe to grind?"
Eric thought for a moment his mind drifted back to the murder scene and Champ's big smile. "Well I was there when they discovered the body and Champ was the only one who didn't seem disturbed by the murder. In fact he made a very inappropriate joke about it." "What sort of joke?" Melvin asked scribbling on his piece of neon blue construction paper. "He said there was an opening for a supervisor position." "Well thats more of an observation then a joke don't you think Eric?" "I guess technically."
Melvin stopped for a moment then started to write again. "Champ is a great guy he wouldn't be involved in this mess... But I do have this entire piece of paper to fill up so ill put him down...” Melvin continued to write “And you feel he would be doing the murder for some sort of advancement?" "Its possible some people will do a lot for a dollar raise." "Really?" Melvin contorted his face trying to imagine what its like to be poor then gave up on it.
Melvin hit a button on a speaker resting on his desk. "Mrs. Sphereburg can you bring me in an extra large hot chocolate please. Do you want anything Eric?" "Well a coffee would be nice." "And a child sized coffee for Eric.
“Alright what about someone else on Rodney's team. How about that unattractive crying woman?" Eric knew exactly who Melvin was referring to. "Marget was not so secretly in love with Rodney she wouldn't have murdered him. Besides she always brings him a variety of baked goods so why do a brutal violent murder, when she could just poison him?" "Humm okay she will be our number one suspect." Eric stared at Melvin with intense loathing but Melvin just continued to look down at his paper and continue writing. Mrs. Sphereburg came in with their out of proportion drinks and they thanked her "Any other suspects?" Melvin continued.
"Well there is only Old man Johnston. But he is just a nice old man I still remember the day when I first started and he took me under his wing and showed me what this call center business was all about."
Eric stared off into nothing as he started to think back. Melvin rolled his eyes. "Eric my boy he said. The first thing you have to do is accept your fate. They are going to yell, they are going to scream. Grandmothers are going to speak to you like serial killing prostitutes on drugs who are going to go to the chair unless they can make you cry. But you are going to be making that sweet two dollars over minimum wage." Melvin wrote down Old man Johnston on the suspect list under why he wrote really old and weird. "Alright snap out of it lets go interview some suspects" Melvin said as he threw a paper airplane at Eric's head hitting him in the forehead and making him drop his drink.
They arrived at Margret's desk it was covered in girly pink things. "This is just a friendly conversation Margret" Melvin T. Melrose said as he turned on the light and aimed the table lamp towards her face blinding her. "Ye.ss.. Mr. Melrose " Margret said closing her eyes because of the light. "Please call me Melvin" Melvin said with a smile. "Yes Melvin.." Margret said relaxing a little bit. "Thats Mr. Melrose!!!" Melvin shouted making her shake the way a woman who could never find a better job then this could who was being interviewed by an insane 12 year old. Margret burst into tears holding her head in her hands. Eric and Melvin looked at each other uncomfortably. "Alright Eric its time for you to take over, I did the hard part." Eric wondered what the hard part really was as he waited for Margret to calm down a little bit. "Hi Margret its me Eric Smithinhouse. The guy who is in that cubicle next to you..." Margret nodded. They in fact talked every day and were quite close. Margret was wondering if Eric had gone insane and the best thing to do with an insane person is agree with them. "We were just wondering what you were doing before the incident today.." Margret looked up and said "Incident?".
Eric and Melvin looked at each other which both showed each other that they had just realized they were not dealing with a criminal mastermind here. "When Rodney got killed.." Eric continued... Margret burst into tears again. "I was still on a call she sobbed. This guy with a heavy southern accent was yelling at me because his computer only lasted five years!! I never even got to give Rodney my muffins in the break room fridge. I made them just the way he likes them. I went to the break room and then I saw him.. like that.." "Well all these calls are time stamped so that can be checked out so looks like you got an alibi.." Eric continued. Melvin looked at the crying shaking woman and said "Ok break is over get back to work.".
After pacifying Melvin with an ice cream. Eric got back to work. On the big list of suspects sat old man Johnston's name. They arrived at his desk where he was sitting relaxed talking to a customer on the phone. Melvin pressed the hang up button and Old man Johnston turned around with a look of surprise. “Alright grandpa you got some explaining to you.” Melvin said. “Sounds good little buddy.” Johnston responded in his affable peaceful manner. Eric slowly wrapped his hand over Melvin's mouth he began to squirm. “We are just checking what people were doing before Rodney bought it Johnston.” “Oh I was talking to a lovely woman. Had a problem with her computer but we got it fixed I hadn't even gotten my break yet when I heard about poor Rodney. Its a shame man a real shame.” “Yeah, I suppose. So you were on a phone call as well?” “Dude, I'm always on a phone call” Said Johnston. Old man Johnston turned his chair around and started to take another call. Melvin finally squirmed out of Eric grasp and attempted to kick Eric's shin. “Well his story checks out. Just had a good call that took a little long. Looks like everyones alibi is going to be like that since we do nothing but take calls all day.” “Thats very convenient” Melvin stated with a pout. “Lets go talk to Champ Eric, I'm tired of talking to losers” Melvin raised his eyebrows at Eric hinting that he was included in the group of losers.
Melvin and Eric arrived at Champ's cubicle. Somebody most likely Champ had placed a post it note that said Supervisor in front of his name. Champ turned around wearing a black and white ball cap that said Champ on it in big yellow letters. “Champ we need to look over some of the call records” Melvin said straightening up his tie “and hurry up I am going to McDonald's in an hour.” “Well as the new supervisor I can now access those call records. Which ones do you want?” “Give me Margret's, Old man Johnston's, and Eric's call records. “ Eric looked in shock at Melvin. Melvin shrugged in an adorable manner. Champ printed off the records and then went on his break.
Back in Melvin's office they went over the records. Eric looked over the records and felt a sense of relief. “Looks like Margret was on that terrible call, it lasted for like 3 hours and Johnston was on his call too.” “And where were you?” Melvin asked in a questioning manner. “I told you I was on my break Melvin. I didn't do it.” “So you say. Well who else did it?” “Obviously it was Champ.” “Well according to the records he didn't have alibi since he wasn't on a call, maybe we should go question your golden boy huh Eric?” Eric nodded. Melvin then stopped and turned to Eric very slowly. “Actually I think Champ is a cool customer he wouldn't break from interrogation.” Eric thought for a moment then said “Melvin leave it to me.”
Twenty minutes later Champ received an inner office memo from the Janitor asking him to meet him to discuss “What he has done” in the 15th floor storage room. Champ stood up and walked silently to the elevator.
Inside the dark storage room a dim yellow light covered a dark figure. Champ entered the room letting a sliver of light into my room. “Hello?” Champ asked in a questioning manner. Keeping his hand slightly in his jacket holding on to something. “I got your Email”. The dark figure moved a little bit then said in a weird voice “I know what you did Champ.” “How did you find out?” “You slipped up. Its time to confess.” “You bastard!” Champ lunged at the figure pulling out a letter opener. Champ wrestled the dark figure to the floor. The coat flew off the figure to reveal some piles of papers and some old monitors. The lights turned on. Eric, Melvin and Bill the affable old security guard appeared from behind some old metal file cabinets. “You lose the title Champ.” Eric said holding up a video camera.
Eric had spent several weeks thinking of the perfect thing to say when Champ had a down fall. “Damn it how did you all find out my horrible secret?” Champ said backing away in fear. Melvin looked at Eric.”How did you figure it out Eric?” “Well it was just deduction. Since nobody knows anyone in this organization except people directly in their group I knew it was someone Rodney Supervised. Since Marget and Johnston all had alibis and I know I didn't do it. So clearly it was Champ who committed the crime.” “Thats it?” Bill the chief of security asked sounding concerned. “Well plus Champ just admitted to the murder and tried to stab that pile of papers.” ”I didn't murder anyone!” Champ began to cry. “Well what did you want to cover up Champ?” Bill asked. Melvin's face soured. “I thought I had been caught.. its all over now.” Champ broke into tears. “I have never done any actual work the entire time I worked for this stupid company. Today is the first time I turned on my computer in 5 months!” Eric nodded his head slowly realizing he was in trouble. Melvin asked “So you never did any work ever?” Champ smiled his million dollar smile wiping away his tears. “Thats right I am totally useless but I am not a murderer. Look at these hands” Champ raised his hands “Ive never worked a day in my life.” Bill looked at his hands. “His story checks out. I am going to let you boys figure this out I have to go wait for the police I got adult business to take care of. Christ they are slow.” Bill left the room. Melvin shook his head. “Well if Champ didn't kill him then who? Margret was on that terrible call, Johnston was on that good call. This is just a wild goose chase and I got McDonald's to eat.”
Eric smiled and said “Gentlemen I have solved the crime. Come with me.” Champ adjusted his hat, Melvin straightened his suit and Eric opened the door. The three very strange men left the room.
A few minutes later they were back at the Cubicles. Eric stepped out of Supervisor Rodney's cubicle and nodded. Bill the chief of security stood in front of the group with his big meaty arms crossed. “This better be good” he said. Margaret, Johnston, Melvin, Champ stood in front of them. “Its all damn good.” Eric said infused with a new found confidence. “Old man Johnston did it!”. Johnston looked shocked and yelled “I did no such thing Eric, What the hell?” “I just listened to your call before the murder Johnston.” Eric said Johnston threw his headset on the floor and lowered his head. “Damn I almost escaped this damn call center business. I thought I had my chance. When I heard that call.” Melvin looked up in shock “Grandpa? This old coot? How could he fight Rodney?” “Never under estimate the urge to escape from here young man” Johnston said not raising his head.
“But why?” Asked Melvin. “Rodney wasn't anything special.” Eric explained “Thats true Melvin, Rodney was a very unremarkable man. But he was a supervisor and he got all the calls recorded to his computer. And he over heard a call that Johnston had received. The call was standard yelling and not being able to help the customer. But at the end the customer thought they had hung up the phone but they had not. This often happens as we all know.” All the call center employees nodded. “And as standard policy you cannot hang up on a customer so he waited. Then Rodney heard this old woman talking about her investments, quite successful investments might I add, and then she said her access information not aware that a poorly paid cunning call center worker still lurked on the phone. A quick Google search made him realize this was a very wealthy woman and it was real. But Rodney listened to that call and he knew it was his chance as well. Johnston yelled “that bastard I left in the middle of a call while they were looking for a plug in the back of the computer, I stopped in for a coffee on the way out to rip that woman off and the moment I saw him I knew he had found out as well. That damn bastard offered me 10%. We got into a fight right in the coffee room. But how did you know Eric? How did you suspect me??”
Eric smiled and looked at the group. “Johnston you should know this. Nobody ever has a good call at this place.”
copyright Scott Woods 2008 |
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| "There seems to be a dog on your bed" |
[May. 1st, 2008|12:52 am] |
Boy if I had a nickel. That damn dog escaped last night I was quite worried. I had to pick up my mom at the bus stop she had been gone all month doing various family visiting or what not. So she escaped. I picked my mom up and we spent the next hour slowly driving around the neighbourhood looking for my little PORK CHOP. She didn't show up and I went to bed a little nervous. At 6am I heard some barking and I called out back but she didnt show up then I opened the front door and she came zooming in. only to stop right at the door for a second like "are you going to beat me?" but I gave her a good "COME ON!" and went back to bed. kicking her off my bed since it was only 6am. I dont really think I should be hot bunking it with a dog but who knows really.
I feel really exciting about my business ideas have just been jumping into my head lately I am feeling real good about it. There is this Seniors centre around my house. I think I applied for a job there once and I thought I should make some brochures or something old people love computers but certainly need some help keeping them going. If I charged my mom for my free tech support I could retire :). But computers are so easy to me its hard to understand why people would pay for such a service. But clearly the need is out there nobody seems to know what to do with them really. Demonic hell machines. I think my favourite thing about computers is how funny they are. They have so much shit that can go wrong and torture people its really great. I love a good story about how someone has been slowly tortured for months or years by their computer but have l earned how to live with it. I guess thats why I dont really mind tech support. I think I would enjoy it more if I was getting the $$$ though.
I was talking to my mom how I would do things differently. I would buy a few loaner computers for my clients, nothing fancy just to do the basic tasks while I worked on their main machines, I would also get anti virus on all their computers a lot of them are really unprotected, set up user accounts. They are stupid not to do it really. I would also like to meet with my clients and discuss their IT goals and plans there is a lot more they could be doing making them $$, direct mailings and things like that. Some of jeff's ideas are pretty good that sign at country style is a lot better then I had thought it would be but its hard to say if anybody would actually use it. Only time will tell I guess.
Lauren is sick. Tessa has the same thing I am glad I asked for a new spoon when Tessa used one to take a bite of my dessert. Hopefully Lauren will feel better soon I miss hanging out with her. (hey this is my journal I got to be honest). I guess I am a little sappy really. Guess thats all that is new. Talk to you later journal.; |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 22nd, 2008|11:00 pm] |
Fucking computers! What else can I say really? I can't get over these clients they are total nut jobs. Why would they say I was only there for half an hour if I was there for 3 or 4 hours? (I don't really know if I should count the time just waiting around or not but hey thats their problem) Plus I don't see why they are complaining about Travel when I had to spend $40 for gas at their damn gas station. Plus I even bought a pop! thats right! i'm a saint really. I hope I don't have to go back there but I am pretty sure I will I sensed it from them. Speaking of crazy clients I hope that ive finally finished the work at Jack Bowes. Got some old crappy ass database running now everyone can be happy! Yay! God that Jeff is a lazy man they said the database hasn't been working in a year... Yeah a Year. Thats right. I mean I got to admit on some level that is really impressive but still. I really hope I land a real job soon. I got plans for that money. Plus driving around is a real pain in the ass.
I still love text messaging. Its like that secret thrill of getting a note in class but you can be anywhere its pretty awesome. Well to be honest I can't ever really remember getting a note in class.. But I am sure its the same feeling. The thrill, The wonder of what the message says... Its quite nice really. Very fun. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 21st, 2008|11:09 pm] |
Boy what a strange experience I just had. I called my mom's mom to see if she was still there and she had left for my Aunt's but I ended up talking to my uncle for like an hour about the nature of time and the old testament. One thing I really respect about my uncle tom is his profound thoughts on pretty much everything. I also like that he is the only person I know who can start a sentence with "When I was living in a rural hut in Bali..." I guess the extreme urge for travel comes from that side of the family. My dad does love his travel but has usually restricted it to north America... Well I guess thats not true he has been to england, europe, china, south america... so I apologize dad you love a good traveling as well. Although most of his travel stories seem to revolve around beer and cashews and gaining 10 pounds. I respect that as well cashews are the damn good nut.
I saw such opportunity to sell the security cameras at that garage today. None of the guys have them. I might ask Jeff if I can sell them to his customers. Give me a cut I suppose it would be quite a boon to my fledging business. I still can't decide if I would prefer monthly income or a bigger lump sum. I think the monthly income would be good longer term and easier to sell. But it would also have more risk. I will have to think about it. God I am worn out I am going to go to bed. I will be more interesting tomorrow. |
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